You Wait For Coffee

You wait for coffee

I wait for freedom

in this place full of

pretention and show.

Words turned around

a hundred times

before spoken

a hundred times

when in the air

twisted in the mouth

twisted in the ear

anyone here to really hear?

Anyone to truly listen

look beyond the lines

look beyond the outside

see more than meets the eye.

I see. I feel. I hear.

You.

You understand?

You understand who I really am

we met

in a place far

far deeper, far beyond

ego tricks and power plays

are not the games we wanna play

and yet we're back

back from the heart, back in the head

played like a pingpong ball

flying between bats of judgement

and power

each move observed, watched, evaluated

noted down in a point system.

In a match of two

the ball never wins

and yet at the end it is battered

disshovelled, half-broken.

Can we go back?

Can we return?

To the place of wholeness

the place before the show

the one we came from

the one that's real

can we turn back?

Or is there always just

a going forward?

The place/time where

you allowed me to step

into my being fully

the moment we were both

(the) whole

October 2020